


can't keep kissing strangers

by BeStillMySlashyHeart



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst with a Happy Ending, Divorce, M/M, Minor miluca, Secret Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:26:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27064117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeStillMySlashyHeart/pseuds/BeStillMySlashyHeart
Summary: Michael has moved on and Alex is trying to do the same. But for him to do that, he needs Michael to sign the divorce papers...even if he has to do it in the middle of the Wild Pony.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 11
Kudos: 220





	can't keep kissing strangers

**Author's Note:**

> so this was included in my Hiatus 1 Tumblr Ficlets compilation fic thing but it seems to be popular on tumblr and people have a hard time finding it so I thought I'd post it separately as a new fic
> 
> title comes from the prompt - “I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you!”

Alex paused and took a deep breath, his hands clenching at his sides. He didn’t want to do this. He could think of few things he’d like to do less than this, actually, but Michael hadn’t left him any other choice. 

With a quick glance at the parking lot to confirm that Michael’s truck was there, he pulled open the door to the Wild Pony. The noise hit him immediately and he regretted doing this on a busy night. Deftly, he wound his way through the crowd towards the table in the back Maria usually set aside for friends. 

As the crowd parted, Alex couldn’t contain his groan as he realized it was a full house tonight. Not only was Michael there but so were Isobel, Max, Liz, newly returned Rosa he really should have spent more time with, Maria, of course, and Kyle. Alex closed his eyes briefly before walking up to them. The conversation stuttered to a stop as they saw him approach.

“Alex!” Liz exclaimed brightly when she saw him. She glanced quickly between him and Michael and Maria but pushed through. “Grab a seat!” 

Alex shook his head. Kyle sent him an apologetic look but he waved him off. So what if they were all friends and here together and he hadn’t known about it. That had been his choice. Ever since Michael and Maria started dating and everything with Max worked out, Alex had steadily pulled away from everyone. It had been his choice. Didn’t mean it didn’t sting though.

“Thanks, Liz, but I’m not staying.” He sent her a slightly apologetic smile. She hadn’t really done anything wrong and he felt bad that their friendship was almost entirely in the past now but that happened. “Just need to talk to Michael.” He finally looked at the man only for Michael to look away.

“Alex-” Maria started softly.

“Two minute conversation and then I’m leaving.” Alex cut her off.

She sighed. “You don’t have to leave.” 

Alex laughed harshly before he could help it. “Yeah, I do.”

She flinched away and Michael’s jaw clenched. “Hey, don’t be an ass.”

Alex wanted to laugh, the idea that Michael was defending Maria from him, but he couldn’t. It still hurt too much to think about why.

“Two minutes.” He repeated.

Michael shook his head. “We don’t have anything to talk about, Alex.”

Alex scoffed. Just because Michael didn’t want to talk didn’t mean they didn’t need to. “Guerin-”

“If you’re not staying, then you should go.” Michael cut him off. The rest of the table was silent, watching the two men. Maria looked like she wanted to jump in but held back.

Alex shook his head. “We need to talk. I have been trying to call you for weeks to set up a time. I’ve even been out to your trailer a few times to try and catch you but you’ve been avoiding me. That’s fine, but we still need to talk. So you can come with me outside for two minutes or I can do it here.” 

Michael shrugged and waved him on.

“You don’t want me to do this here.” Alex warned.

“Why not? It’s not like you two have any more secrets.” Isobel laughed lightly, trying to dispel the awkwardness. It didn’t work.

A sick part of Alex twisted with glee as he arched an eyebrow at her before facing Michael. The man didn’t seem in a hurry to move so Alex nodded.

In a fluid motion, he lifted the large envelope he’d brought with him and opened it up, sliding the papers out and holding them on top. He flopped them down on the table in front of Michael and tossed a pen on top of them.

“Sign the fucking divorce papers.”

The table was silent. Michael stared at the papers with a blank face while everyone else stared at them in shock. Maria shifted away from where she’d been pressed along Michael’s side and looked between the two men and the stack of papers on the table.

The Dissolution of Marriage in bold letters was pretty hard to deny.

Alex waited a beat but Michael didn’t move to pick up the pen. “You need to sign in like five places so chop chop.”

Michael looked up at him and something twisted in Alex at the utter shock on his face. Did he really think it would never come to this? 

“Alex-” Maria said softly.

“Just sign it, Michael.” Alex cut her off. He really didn’t want to hear it right now. This was not how he wanted to do this. Not at all.

“Alex.” This time it was Michael. 

Alex picked up the pen from the stack and held it in front of Michael’s face.

Michael stared at it but didn’t take it. “We should talk.”

Alex laughed cruelly. “But we don’t have anything to talk about.”

Michael glared at him and took the pen. He shoved to his feet, almost knocking the table over and bumping into Alex, scooped up the papers and pushed past Alex. He snaked a hand back to grab Alex by the elbow but Alex shook him off and watched as Michael fled.

He shook his head and closed his eyes, taking in a few deep breaths, before turning to follow.

“Alex,” Kyle touched his arm to stop him. “Since when are you two married?”

Alex glanced at all of the curious faces behind Kyle, every one of their friends who minutes ago thought they knew everything about Alex and Michael’s relationship now stared at him in surprise. “Since it was legal in New Mexico.” He pulled his arm away and went after Michael.

Outside, he had to scan the parking lot for a moment before picking out Michael’s shadow in the back, leaning over the liftgate of his truck. Alex wandered over slowly.

“What the fuck was that, Alex?” Michael asked as he neared.

Alex shrugged. “I tried calling and texting. I’ve spent enough time at the junkyard to know that you neither work or live there anymore. You didn’t leave me any other options. And I tried to get you to come outside in the first place.”

“Since when are you all gungho about a divorce?” Michael bit out as he finally looked at him. His eyes were red but his face was angry.

Alex laughed mirthlessly. “What did you think was going to happen, Michael?” He tilted his head to catch Michael’s eyes as he glanced away. “You could go play house with Maria and I would sit on the sidelines patiently waiting my turn? That when you two fizzled out, I’d be there to give it a shot?” 

Michael looked at his feet and Alex shook his head. 

“You know, I did at first. I was ready, Michael. I was so fucking ready to finally do this for real and I _told you that_. But you left me waiting while you went to Maria. And I cannot explain to you how much that hurt. But I held out hope that maybe it was just a fling. Something to get out of your system before we made it work. I thought, maybe a few weeks, maybe a month or two and then we’ll work it out.” Alex wiped at the few tears that fell but otherwise he ignored them. “But it’s been almost a year. And I can’t keep doing this. The fact that we are still married has given me hope. Hope that someday, somehow we’ll get our shit together.”

Michael’s jaw clenched and he breathed deeply but he didn’t say anything so Alex kept going.

“Do you know every time I try to hook up with someone, I compare them to you? Because I feel like you’re still an option.” Alex shook his head. “I can’t do it anymore. I can’t keep kissing strangers and pretending that they’re you! Pretending that we’ll get back to where we used to be because that’s not going to happen. And I have had to accept that.” He pointed to the papers laid out on the truck bed. “That’s the first step. Severing things between us for good. So please. Sign the papers.” 

“Alex,” Michael said softly. He looked at the papers and shifted them around. “I don’t want to.”

Alex scoffed. “You’ve moved on Michael. Let me do the same.”

“I don’t-”

“Well I do!” Alex cut him off. “Please, please just do this for me. I need to get this taken care of.”

Michael looked at him in surprise. “ _Need_ to? Why?”

Alex glared at him, honestly contemplating telling him it was none of his business but he was tired. And he was done. “I’m leaving in the morning. My enlistment ended last week and Chad got me a job at his company so I’m moving.”

“You’re leaving Roswell?” Michael took a step toward him but stopped when Alex flinched back a half step.

“Yes.” Alex said simply. “There’s nothing for me here, Michael. Only memories.”

“Alex, don’t leave because of me.”

“I’m not,” Alex shook his head at Michael’s arrogance. “I might have stayed for you. But I’m leaving for me. Now sign the papers so I can put all of this behind us and start new. Please.”

Michael clenched his jaw and visually tried to will away the tears that spilled over. He searched Alex’s face before nodding and signing the papers without another word.

“That’s it, huh?” He handed them to Alex.

“Yeah,” Alex agreed softly. “That’s it.”

Michael leaned in and pulled him into a hug. Alex stiffened at first, unsure of letting himself relax into this but eventually he returned it. They stood silently, squeezing each other tight, swaying softly and ignoring each other’s and their own tears. After a long moment, Michael pressed a gentle kiss to Alex’s temple and pulled away.

“Be happy, Alex.” He whispered. “You deserve it.”

“So do you.” 

Alex took a few steps back without looking away before finally turning and heading for his car. A hand on his elbow stopped him halfway.

“So this is the whimper, huh?” Michael said as he turned him slowly.

“Yeah.” Alex told him. “This is the whimper.”

“What if I don’t want it to be?” Michael asked urgently. Alex cocked his head and eyed him curiously.

“What do you want it to be? Go out with a bang? While your girlfriend’s inside?”

“I don’t want it to end at all.”

Alex almost told him to fuck off but stopped. “Maybe it was never going to work. We held on to something that didn’t really matter because we didn’t know any better.”

“Alex-”

“Or _maybe_ we’re still two dumb kids who don’t know how to make this work.” Alex stepped in close, noting idly that Michael’s hand was still on his elbow. “I love you, Michael. I always have and I always will. But I can’t do it like this anymore. You want me? Earn me. Just like I need to earn you.” He shook his head softly. “We can’t do that in Roswell. Too much shit has happened here and I can’t stay anymore.”

Michael opened his mouth but closed it without saying anything. He wasn’t going to leave Roswell.

Alex nodded. “Goodbye Michael.”

Michael’s hand fell away as Alex turned and got in his car. Michael followed his car out of the parking lot and Alex watched in his rearview mirror as his image grew smaller and smaller until Michael faded away entirely.

—-

“I’m coming!” Alex yelled as he grabbed his crutches. The banging on the door didn’t stop, though. Alex grumbled as he maneuvered around the boxes he still hadn’t unpacked despite having lived here for over three months. He cursed as he stubbed his toe into the wall and had to limp to the front door, the banging continuing all the while.

“What?!” He yelled as he swung the door open. 

Michael stood on the other side, his fist raised to continue knocking.

“Michael?” Alex asked in shock. He hadn’t seen or heard from Michael, or anyone from Roswell other than Kyle for that matter, since he’d driven away. “What are you doing here? How did you know where I live?”

“Chad told me,” Michael answered. “Can I come in?”

Alex stared at him a moment longer before nodding and stepping back to let him inside.

Michael wandered through his small condo with a curious eye, poking and prodding at some of Alex’s keepsakes. Alex let him for a moment before his curiosity got to be too much.

“Michael?” He asked again.

Michael turned and flung his hands out in a wide gesture. “I got a job at a mechanic’s shop a few miles away. They’re letting me park the Airstream out back so I’ve got a place to live and I enrolled in the local community college.”

Alex stared at him. “That’s great, Michael. But why-”

“Because I’m earning you.” Michael cut him softly as he crossed the room to stand in front of Alex. “If you’ll let me.”

They had a lot to discuss. And even more to work through. But Michael was _here._ And that was a damn good start.

“Okay.” Alex breathed.

“Okay?”

Alex nodded. “Okay.”

They stood there in the middle of the room with wide grins on their face, staring at each other silently like idiots and Alex’s heart felt lighter than it had in years.


End file.
